Humans are beautiful. We are all made of different soil, color, rhymes and metaphors, weaved in a single strand of humanity.
We also, sadly, share an obsession for categories and labels and norms, labelling every shade as either a pink or a blue, drawing boundaries and boxes, often leaving no space for ambiguity or multiplicity. These labels in turn define and dictate who we are, how are we supposed to look, talk, walk, who we are supposed to love, our abilities, strengths and weaknesses. These boxes might be convenient and uncomplicated o the outside, but for the most part prove to be inhibiting, restricting and suffocating. Take, for instance, what if one day blue wakes up and decides to wear a pink dress? Or pink feels it would rather be…purple? Because of our fears and inhibitions, we shun these possibilities or sometimes put them in another label altogether; unnatural.
I grew up like most girls grow up, in my little world wearing my pink dresses and crushing over boys. My biological self, or sex, was conveniently used to assume my gender and sexuality, and dictate my preferences, abilities, and characteristics. Yet, now that I look back, I wonder if my little self ever wondered if she could also reach her hands for the purple pants on the topmost shelf, or the toy car her brother played with, or maybe the pretty girl who sat next to her in the classroom.
Anyway, as I grew up, I was-like most of us-exposed to all sorts of knowledge. I was expected to understand complex algebras, trigonometry, cell theory and history of wars and civilization. And again, there were simple things no one talked about. Those little secrets, like the one wrapped up in those glances my neighbor’s daughter passed to her “best friend”, or the one in my mother’s eyes when my brother walked out of the room wearing a lipstick when he was 6, were hidden in the farthest end of my world’s closet, where, I don’t even know when, I carved a little space for a part of me too.
Recently, I went to my first Pride Parade. I had heard about it before, of course, but going to one? You see I am a human too. A little scared, skeptical human. But as I looked around to all the happy, shining colors spilling out of their pallets and painting everything around me into purple and pink and green and even shades I didn’t know the names of, but found beautiful anyway; I couldn’t help but shed all my inhibitions and embrace all the love around me. For me, those 2 hours of my life were a time where I could embrace every part of me, and embrace every part of all the people around me. I could be anyone I want, and more importantly, I could be who I really was. Those happy faces filled me with so much warmth and love, I couldn’t understand why anyone would reciprocate these beautiful feelings with hatred, fear, abomination.
Most importantly, even though I’m still not sure if my inhibitions are ready to come out of their closet, at least now I know the view outside is worth opening my doors for.